the door was opened contd..

"its not what it looks like" he said.

It's not, it cant be.

But it is. It is him

My brother, my love, 

in the bed,

the bed i crave to be in

in the arms,

the arms i longed to hold me

a spree of emotions filled me

pain, rage, fear , hate..

Crazy hate

murderous hate

blinded by the hate 

i rushed at them

striking out blinding

at whoever

what ever

both of them

and myself all at the same time

But my bones were too soft

my punches nothing but

candy floss next to his hard body

i need something heavy

something strong,

the horse...

there by the bed,

a porcelain horse

that will do

lifting it with all my might

bringing it down towards them

the horse cracked

But that didnt stop me

again and again i brought it down

bringing it down towards them

It didnt matter who i was hitting

i wanted to get them both

i was screaming at them now

filled with so much rage

i felt powerful

so powerful. and strong

yes, strong

now there are gonna get it

so blinded by rage i was

i did not see the horse had broke 

broken into two with sharp edges

edges so sharp its drove trough them easily

there was bloody every were now

all over the once beautiful

but still i could not see

striking out blindly till there was nothing left in me

till i was drained of my power,

my rage, my hate..

tired i left the bed

the room, the house

into the dark

wherever

somewhere

anywhere

who cares

no one cares..

especially not me..